Affairs, Forgiveness or the Lack Thereof!

 Zeb has been in a tough marriage for 14 years.  3 years in, he had an affair.  He and his wife agreed to get back together and move past it having other children over the time period.  She has never really forgiven him and it affects his marriage daily.  he thought he should stay for the children, but wonders if all he is teaching them is how to be in a miserable marriage?  Why does she want him to stay if she won't forgive him and is full of shaming and blaming behavior toward him?  Should he stay or should he go?

 Nogie King, a Savvy Split endorsed life coach responds to help Zeb.

You state the problem as the fact that your wife will not forgive you and move on, but I wonder if you have ever completely forgiven yourself? Possibly it is about the choice of having an affair or possibly it is about the choice of getting married in the first place. Somewhere you were out of sync with YOURSELF and you may not have forgiven yourself for THAT.